We have 7 children. Last weekend I jokingly put on Facebook that we were on a “date” because we had no children with us–even if we were only on our way to buy toilet paper because our littlest guy had put all of ours into the toilet. But hey, “no kids = date” when you have 7 of them! At least, that’s how it can feel sometimes.
Can you relate? Do you feel that your fun dates have become non-existent and you’re resorting to calling anything a date—even a trip for toilet paper?
Is your marriage fun?
- Do you have enough time together? Alone. Just the two of you, uninterrupted by children or work or day-to-day pressures.
- Do you have time to celebrate your marriage and enjoy the blessing of your spouse?
- Are you just existing and trying to get through each day together?
- Have you lost the spark and the fun and wonder if it’s even possible to get it back?
Do you remember the last time you intentionally went out on a date and enjoyed time together?
Dr. Willard Harley, Jr. in the book His Needs, Her Needs, tells couples that if they want to maintain their love for each other, they should set aside at least fifteen hours a week for undivided attention, where one of the primary purposes is in engage in intimate conversation.
So how are you doing? Do you spend 15 hours a week in undivided attention with one another? Most of us probably don’t. Life is busy and there just never seems to be enough time for everything we want to do, and even things we need to do sometimes. You have to make it a priority and schedule it in or it won’t happen. That may mean being pretty creative or even dropping some other things that you currently have in your schedules.
John and I have set a goal for our marriage for this next year. We are going to date more. We understand busyness and how hard it can be to find time to invest in just each other. Life is very busy with 7 children, ministry, and the demands of daily life. This coming year we want to be intentional in our marriage.
One of the things we have decided to do is to create a “12 Dates Challenge” for our marriage.
So, what is the 12 Dates Challenge? I’m glad you asked. 
Each of us is responsible for planning 12 dates throughout the year. That will be a total of 24. We can make them as creative and elaborate as we want or they can be simple. It doesn’t matter. The main idea is for each of us to invest in our marriage and to take responsibility for creating intimacy and time to celebrate us.
I already have some fun ideas in mind. We’ll see what he comes up with.
Is anyone else on board?
If 12 dates each is too hard, you could make it just 12 dates total and plan them together or take turns. Whatever you want it to be. Get creative! Just be intentional and do something. “Something is better than nothing” in this case. Make it whatever works for your situation.
Will you be participating in the 12 Dates Challenge this coming year?
