Do you have a recipe for your marriage? A great recipe will result in overall pleasure in your relationship and your needs being met.
Do you know which ingredients it takes for your marriage to be healthy, strong, and pleasurable?
Each marriage is unique and will have its own recipe, although most will have some form and amount of these included:
- Communication about daily activities
- Conversations that resolve conflict and build the relationship
- Sharing new information and emerging desires
- Affection and intimacy
- Recreation and fun
- Prayer
Like any recipe, if you leave something out, use less of an ingredient, or add too much of another, your final product will be different. You’ll notice the change. The key is knowing what you need and how much of it, then combining them well for the perfect recipe.
If you feel disconnected or have disagreements and tension in your marriage, stop and look at when that began. It will probably coincide with a time period in which you left out some of the essential ingredients your marriage needs.
Add the missing ingredients back in and you will often fix the problem.
Take time to reflect on when your marriage was good, or better than it is now.
- What was different?
- What was happening ,or what were you doing, when you felt connected and your marriage was strong, healthy, and pleasurable?
Rate your marriage:
- On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the best, where would it fall during the healthy time you reflected on?
- What about now? What number would you give it?
- What would you like to be different in your marriage currently?
- What could you do to change that?
- What would your marriage look like if you increased your number by a couple of points?
If your marriage could talk, what would it ask for or need right now?
Together, come up with some action steps.
- List some things you could do and determine which would be most effective at this time.
- Which ones do you really want to do?
- Pick one (or more) and determine specifically when you will do it and for how long.
Pray, asking God to help you see which things He would have you to add to subtract from your marriage.
