Do you need any pruning?

Being a Godly Woman, Living intentionally, Transformation

Are you familiar with emotional intelligence (EQ)?

EQ is defined as: the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.  According to Daniel Goleman, a psychologist who made this concept popular, it is made up of 5 key elements:

  1. Self-awareness
  2. Self-regulation
  3. Motivation
  4. Empathy
  5. Social skills

Have you ever been in an awkward situation brought about by low EQ?

I remember a very awkward situation I once observed. I felt bad not only for those impacted by it, but also for the one displaying the low EQ.

Let me set up the situation:  Women were gathered for a special holiday event and there was an ornament exchange.  Each woman was to bring a wrapped ornament to exchange anonymously. It was a lot of fun until one woman disliked the ornament she received. Instead of quietly setting it aside and allowing the event to continue smoothly, she made a big deal out of how much she disliked the ornament she chose.

I mean — a really big deal out of it.

She went on and on about how ugly it was and asked everyone near her, and those who walked by, if they thought it was ugly.   She would not stop talking about it or complaining about receiving it.  Eventually, another woman said she would trade her, just so she would stop.

Embarrassment…

I was embarrassed for the woman who was complaining. It was rude and she was oblivious to the feelings of anyone else.  It was all about her.  I was also embarrassed for the woman who had brought the ornament and I empathized with her.  She was nearby and heard every criticism made of her and her choice of ornaments. It was rather painful.  She later expressed to me how much it bothered her and how embarrassed, and a little angry, it made her.  It was not necessary, and honestly, it was neither a mature reaction nor a godly reflection of how to treat others.

Can you relate to that?

Have you ever been in that type of situation?  I think that will stick with me forever.  I will admit that I lost a lot of respect for that woman that day, as her true character was on full display.  It confirmed little signs I had seen previously.

It will also stick with me as a reminder of how to treat others and how to respond graciously to situations.  It reminds me of the way our words and actions can impact others.

Pruning

Although I’ve always tried to be one who is very sensitive to the feelings and needs of those around me, God used that situation to do a little self-check in my own life as well.  I looked for anything that needed to be pruned away.

  • Were there any situations in which I was reacting to others in a hurtful way?
  • Was I only aware of my own desires and needs and not concerned for others?
  • How do I deal with disappointment?
  • Do I react in a way that does not reflect the love of Christ and His control of my life?

What about you? Do you need any pruning?

  • Have any character traits slipped into your life that you need to prune away?
  • Do your actions and responses reflect Christ?
  • Are you sensitive and empathetic to those around you?
  • Are you aware of how you come across and how others perceive and “receive” you?

Ask God to help you prune any character traits from your life that are not truly reflective of Him.