Adversity, Grief
Do you ever feel like you are just picking up the pieces and starting over?
I completely get that.
I understand what it’s like to have a dream dissolve before your very eyes and what it means to lean on Christ to see you through and give you direction and purpose.
I understand what it’s like to experience losses and then pick up the pieces and start over, as I said earlier.
My husband and I have faced the deaths of three of our own children. One through miscarriage, a son who died the night he and his twin brother were born, and a daughter who was stillborn. We have also both lost our mothers. Three years ago, we even lost our career unexpectedly and had to start over when my husband got very ill on the mission field. (more…)
Grief
Anticipatory grief. You know a loss is coming and you begin grieving in advance.
When I was pregnant with my twins, Isaac and David, I dealt with this. I was only 23 weeks pregnant when I went into labor. I spent 10 weeks in the hospital on bed rest to try to allow me to carry them as long as possible, but they were still born 7 weeks early.
When I was first hospitalized with contractions, they noticed a discrepancy in size between the twins and ran quite a few tests. It was determined that David had Trisomy 13 and Double Outlet Right Ventricle (DORV). If he lived to delivery, his heart would not be able to work properly. He was not going to live. Isaac was healthy, but it was just too early. He was in danger of not living as well. To make it worse, one of the medicines they used to stop my labor affected my heart and I almost died a couple of times. My husband was taken into the hall one day and asked whom the doctor should try to save, me or the babies.
As I spent 10 weeks in the hospital, I had a lot of time to think. It was very bittersweet. In some ways I wanted the pregnancy to continue forever because David was still alive. I was a mom of twins. And I was just like any other pregnant woman. I could say, I’m _____weeks pregnant. Or I could talk about “my boys” or “the twins”. (more…)
Adversity, Family, Grief, Parenting
David
I realized what I had just heard, and for a brief moment, the world around me stood still. At least, that’s what it felt like.
My oldest son, Isaac, is a college student majoring in both English and Theater. We went to his campus last week, about 4 hours away, to see his play. He had the lead role and we were really excited to see it. As I sat down in my seat to watch, I glanced at the cast list to see which students would be playing the various roles. Honestly, I mainly looked at the side with their real names and then did a quick glance at the character names. When I saw Isaac, I just scanned across the line and saw “Dr. Mortimore”. I didn’t pay attention to his character’s first name. (more…)
Grief
Today I had green beans — and that’s all it took.
I immediately thought of Mom. They tasted a lot like hers did.
Triggers. Grief seems to be full of them. They can come out of nowhere and ambush you. Sometimes it’s the most unsuspecting things– like green beans. (more…)
Grief
When grieving the loss of a loved one, it is very helpful to become the historian and celebrate their life by writing about it.
One way to do this is by compiling a list of 1,000 memories. There’s nothing magical about the number 1,000, but by the time you get to 1,000, you will probably have a fairly complete picture of the person and all of the key things that are significant for you to remember.
This can be as simple or elaborate as you want it to be. Just take a notebook or journal and write down every memory or thought that comes to mind about that person. You can make it a collection of one-liners, or add details. It’s up to you.
With time, details often fade or get jumbled up together. Having a notebook or journal available when a memory or thought comes to mind is a great way to remember all of the details or stories that may get fuzzy with time. You don’t have to write all 1,000 thoughts or memories down all at once—it can be an ongoing project until you feel that it is finished.
What a way to honor their legacy and memory! This is also a great keepsake to pass down to your children or other family members.
Adversity, Family, Grief, Parenting
I want to share a little of my own story and how loss has affected my life.
I don’t say it proudly, but very humbly—God has repeatedly allowed me to go through some difficult losses
I’ve mentioned a few of them in other blog entries before and on the pages with info about me. I really do think that part of my calling in life has been to learn to rely on God through suffering and then use that to minister to others, bringing them hope and encouragement in the midst of their pain and confusion. (more…)
Adversity, Grief, Transformation
Do you ever feel like you are just picking up the pieces and starting over?
I completely get that.
I understand what it’s like to have a dream dissolve before your very eyes and what it means to lean on Christ to see you through and give you direction and purpose.
I understand what it’s like to experience losses and then pick up the pieces and start over, as I said earlier.
My husband and I have faced the deaths of three of our own children. One through miscarriage, a son who died the night he and his twin brother were born, and a daughter who was stillborn. We have also both lost our mothers. Three years ago, we even lost our career unexpectedly and had to start over when my husband got very ill on the mission field. (more…)
Do you ever feel like you are just picking up the pieces and starting over?
