If you’re like most people, you’re probably good at noticing when your spouse or children do something wrong or something that you don’t like. Let’s face it, we all have things that just drive us crazy! Sometimes we become so focused on the negative that we don’t stop to see the positive. We don’t even acknowledge what they “do right”.
You’ve probably been on the receiving end of that before. Nothing you do is good enough. Only the negative is acknowledged. Criticism. It makes you think, “Why bother…it won’t matter anyway.” Have you even been there? Ugh, not a good experience.
Unfortunately, I catch myself doing that with my own kids sometimes. Things are a mess or they didn’t do something expected. So what do you do? You mention it. You complain. You point it out. Now, there’s definitely a time to acknowledge things to teach them and correct the situation, but it can really deflate them if the only interactions you have are just negative communication.
Do you ever stop and intentionally pay attention to the good things? Look for positives? Not only notice them, but actually acknowledge them and make a point of letting them know that you noticed? That can do wonders!
Living intentionally can be hard sometimes. Maybe you don’t even know where to start. Well, if that’s the case, this is a great place to start!
So, here’s a little exercise you can do:
For the next 7 days, pick a person, like your spouse or child, and pay attention to what they do. Note when they do something that you appreciate, that helps your relationship, or that moves things in a positive direction. Then, when possible, find a way to appropriately let them know that you appreciate the effort they made. You can do this for more than one person too, of course, but one may be a good place to start.
You want to pay attention to things that made you feel cared about, helped, or understood. What did they do specifically that made you feel that way?
Take a piece of paper and keep track of:
- What did you acknowledge or give the person credit for?
- How did he or she respond?
Do that for 7 days and see what you notice. Any patterns? Did you notice anything different in you as you were focusing on positive traits? What difference did this make? How will this affect that relationship?
Sometimes we can get stuck in the same old ruts– doing the same things and getting the same results.
Being intentional even in our observations and interactions with our families can make a huge difference — not only in them, but in us!
Will you be intentional this week? Will you look for positives?
Will you catch your family members doing something right?
You may be surprised by the transformation that can happen just because you began looking for, and acknowledging, the positives!
How will you acknowledge their actions and give them credit? Will you tell them? Post a note in the house where everyone can see it? Write it down and put it in a jar on the counter? The sky’s the limit on creativity! I’d love to hear what you do!
