A week ago was the 2nd anniversary of my mom’s death. She had inflammatory breast cancer. I’ve thought about her quite a bit the past few weeks. I surely do miss her and over the past 2 years I have caught myself thinking that I would call her and tell her something a few times.
She loved life and was a lot of fun. My friends always liked her and enjoyed being around her.
Mom was always active in our schooling and activities when we were younger. She was my Pixie and Brownie leader, helped in Cub Scouts for my brother, and always volunteered as a room-mother. One time I came home from school and told her that I had invited friends over for a party that afternoon. I was only in 1st or 2nd grade and these “big plans” were made on the bus ride home. After explaining the situation and talking with the other moms, my mom actually did plan and host a big Valentine’s Party for us a few weeks later. It was a big hit and she went all out.
Those are just a few of the memories I thought about over the past few weeks. As I think back on all the memories with my own mom, there are some really funny stories as well as many other things that made a huge impact in my life. They made me stop and reflect on my own life as a parent.
- What kind of mom am I?
- What will my kids remember about me?
- What legacy am I leaving?
I’ll admit, my dream of the type of mom I want to be doesn’t always play out. I mean, with 7 children and 2 of them being very young with special needs, it seems there’s always someone needing extra attention (or all of it) and we don’t quite get to play the games we want to play or do other things we would like to do. Some days are very organized and smooth. Other days…..not so much. I’ve learned to be flexible.
I’m trying to be more intentional in the things I do and how I interact with them. Time really does fly by. Our oldest is 19 and in college already and we don’t get to see him very often. How did that happen? Wasn’t he just doing kindergarten work yesterday?
I think about things like:
- How do I want to be a year from now?
- What about 5 years from now? Or even 10?
- What kind of relationship will my children have with me and how do I want them to remember these years?
What about you? Have you ever stopped to think about who you are as a parent and the legacy you are leaving with your children?
- What kind of parent would you like to be?
- What would it take for that to happen?
- What would it mean to you for that to actually happen?
- What would it cost you and how would it impact you if it didn’t happen?
- What is the most important thing for you to accomplish as a parent?
What one thing could you do this week to move you toward that goal? Is there a change you need to make?
I don’t know about you, but these are good, thought-provoking questions for me to ponder. It’s great to reflect on my life periodically and evaluate where I actually am and where I would like to be.
Are you leaving the legacy you would like to leave with your children?
